What Have i Done?

She deserted me
Abandoned me
Ran away from me
Like past Years
No one to share my joy
No one to listen to me
No one to console me
I long for a smile
I long for a joke
A squeeze, a hug
Some kind of inspiration from her
But to no avail
It’s terrifying-horrible
So consuming, sort of a jilt
I hide my covert away
From outside the world
Oh, I still remember her wit-
Quaint responds to my myriad of queries
Why couldn’t she listen to me?
My innocence?
All alone I sit on my legs
With my arms upward and prayerful
Waiting for her forgiveness
To forgive me for what I’ve done
I cry my eyes out
I hate myself
I only have my room to talk to
And the wall to look at
All for the beating I did to her
While I was drunk.

This poem by Yushau A. Shuaib was first published in Sunday Triumph February 17, 1991